My name is Diana. I am 60 years old,
so I’ve had plenty of time to experience life’s ups and downs. Trust me, I have
had my downs. I was the oldest child of alcoholic parents, which was just the
beginning.
Prior to marrying my soul mate, I
had been married twice, for a total of over 25 years. I had married an
alcoholic, and a control freak. I had 5 children. I was beaten, abused, emotionally
destroyed, and had my children taken from me. I was overweight, and
downtrodden. I was treated with such disrespect that I almost believed that I
deserved all of this mistreatment. I was so mentally and emotionally worn down
I did not know if I could ever get back up.
I sought counseling, because I was
told by my ex that I was nuts. I visited with a therapist for several months,
until one day, she told me I was wasting her time. She did, however, tell me I should think
about seeking another man in my life. RIGHT!!!! That was never going to happen.
I was through with men! She gave me an assignment to describe my “perfect man.”
That was my last assignment before she told me that I was not in need of
counseling and she needed the slot for someone who did need her.
She had planted a seed, and made me start
thinking about what kind of man could sweep me off my feet. This seed was not
planted on fertile soil, but it was going to hang on until the environment got
better.
After two disastrous marriages, I
was convinced I did not want another man in my life. Sure, I dated some men,
but I kept my distance. I was sure that I was destined to be alone forever. I
even began to enjoy the idea.
I had learned to enjoy being by
myself, and always doing things my way. I liked the idea of not having to
answer to anyone, or doing things to please someone else. I had met the real
me, and I liked myself!
One day, out of sheer resolve, I
walked into a nearby college, and enrolled full time. I was scared, but felt I had to do this. I was 46 years old, and I was finally going
to do something for ME . . . something I had planned to do 25 years earlier. .
. but had put it off to be a wife and mother.
Four years later, I graduated Cum
Laude with two degrees: A BS in Psychology, and a BA in Political Science. My
studies emphasized Sociology and Criminal Justice. I had gone to school with
kids younger than some of my own kids, and I had succeeded! What a confidence
builder!
I was Vice President of three
college clubs. I had been in four honor societies, and on the Dean’s list. I
even made the Who’s Who of College students and National Dean’s List!
It took all of this just to
convince myself that I was a worthy human being.
Finally, I could hold my head
up! I had the confidence to stand up to my
ex and get my child back (the other one had become an adult during this time).
